Learning whats Important

As all marriage and family experts say, your marriage should always come first before kids, jobs, family, etc.  My mind says, but the kids need their every little need taken care of??  I have to get work done so we can survive? My kids are so easy to like and love daily,  As for the hubby, well, there are days where neither of us are very likeable.  But how do I handle it when me and my hubby have a scuffle, and when me and my 3 year old do.
John makes me mad: Silent treatment, saying things that I will need to go to confession for later, and just am overall not making the situation better with my attitude.
3 year old makes me mad: timeout, quick im sorry from him, and hugs.  and he just dumped an entire bottle of seasoning on the floor after I have told him 10 thousand times to stay out of the pantry. 
Ok, now I know these are on different levels, and the 3 year old didnt mean to make me mad, but most of the time, the hubby doesnt mean to either. 
Perspective?  I think I need some some days. Is there any point in making my husbands life miserable, just because he made a mistake?  Dont I make mistakes? All the time, and I am called to make my home a place of peace.  My mood more than anyone sets the entire tone for the attitude in the house.  Why dont I act in a way that brings life, instead of being self centered and mean, just to make a point?  Im hurting my own soul, my kids by not being genuine, and not being a very good example what it means to love.

So my new resolution - to be easier on my husband. The best thing I can give to my kids, is a strong, loving marriage, where they feel secure about Mommy and Daddy.  tho there is always room for improvement, and we get into the routine of life and forget whats important, things are pretty good between us most days.  But really, is there anything gained by being in a horrible mood.  No, but i need to see we are both tired, exhausted, stressed, and feeling overwhelmed most days.  Not just me.